How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide

Writing an obituary is a meaningful way to honor a loved one's life while sharing important information with family, friends and the community.

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This guide breaks the process into seven simple steps. You will learn what to include in an obituary, how to organize the information, how to choose the right tone and what to review before publishing. If you prefer more guidance, the LifeCelebrations Wizard can help you work through each section with prompts and suggestions.

What an Obituary Should Accomplish

A strong obituary usually has two goals: announce the passing and share the person’s story.

  • Announce the passing. Include essential details such as the person's name, date of passing and funeral or memorial service information so people know when and where they can pay their respects.
  • Preserve their legacy. Include the experiences, relationships, passions and accomplishments that help readers understand who the person was and what made their life meaningful.

The best obituaries balance both. They provide the practical information readers need while giving family and friends a meaningful picture of the person's life.

If you only need to announce the passing, see the difference between a death notice and an obituary.

What Makes a Strong Obituary

As you write, keep these obituary writing tips in mind:

  • Be specific. Use real details, such as where they worked, what they loved doing or how they contributed to their community. Be precise and factual.
  • Let their personality show. The tone can be formal, warm, reflective, spiritual or even gently humorous when it feels appropriate.
  • Keep it balanced. Include essential facts, family information, life story and service details without letting one section take over the entire obituary.
  • Be concise. You do not need to include every event from a person’s life. Focus on the details that mattered most.

A Simple Obituary Format

Most obituaries can follow this basic structure:

  1. Announce the death and provide the essential details.
  2. Share the person’s life story and what made them unique.
  3. List surviving and predeceased family members.
  4. Provide funeral, memorial or celebration of life information.
  5. Include charity or memorial contribution preferences, if applicable.
  6. Choose one or more photos for print and/or online publication.
  7. Proofread carefully before publishing and sharing.

How to Write an Obituary: 7 Essential Steps

1. Announce the Death

Start with the essential facts. This gives readers the information they need immediately and establishes the tone for the rest of the obituary.

What to include:

  • Full name, including middle name, maiden name, nickname—and prefix or suffix when relevant
  • City or area where the person lived
  • Age at the time of death
  • Date of passing
  • Place of death, if the family wishes to include it
  • A brief description such as “peacefully,” “after a brief illness” or “unexpectedly,” if appropriate

Choose language that feels natural for your family. “Passed away,” “died,” “departed” and faith-based wording can all be appropriate depending on the person and the tone you want to use.

Example: “Mary Elizabeth Jones, 88, of Tiburon, passed away peacefully on July 15, 2025. She was a cherished mother, grandmother and friend whose presence will be deeply missed.”

2. Share Their Life Story

The life story is where an obituary becomes more than an announcement. Focus on the details that show who your loved one was, what mattered to them and how they will be remembered.

You may include:

  • Birthplace, hometown and family background
  • Education and important milestones
  • Career, military service or professional accomplishments
  • Community involvement, volunteering or spiritual affiliations
  • Hobbies, passions and interests
  • Personal qualities, favorite traditions or memorable stories
  • Relationships that were especially important to them

Rather than listing every fact in order, connect the details into a story. A short anecdote about their kindness, humor, dedication or favorite pastime can often say more than a long list of accomplishments.

Example: “Mary was born in Petaluma, California, on July 3, 1936, to Thomas and Susan Miller. She dedicated her life to her family and her love of gardening. Her yard, filled with roses and wildflowers, was a place she happily shared with neighbors, friends and grandchildren.”

3. List Family Members

Family information helps readers understand the person's closest relationships and recognize surviving loved ones.

Commonly included family members are:

  • Spouse or partner
  • Children and their spouses or partners
  • Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
  • Parents and siblings
  • Predeceased spouse, children, parents or siblings
  • Other people who played an important role in the person's life, including late-life caregivers deserving of special thanks or recognition

You can list everyone by name or group relatives for brevity. Both approaches are acceptable. Choose the level of detail that feels right for the family.

Example: “Mary is survived by her daughter, Jessica Jones of Phoenix, Arizona; her son, Michael Jones (Sarah) of Berkeley; and her grandchildren, Emily, David and Lily. She was preceded in death by her husband of 55 years, Robert Jones.”

4. Include Funeral or Memorial Service Information

Service information should be easy to find and understand. Include only the details people need to attend or participate.

What to include:

  • Date and time
  • Venue name and location
  • Type of service, such as a funeral, memorial service, graveside service or celebration of life
  • Whether the service is public or private
  • Reception details or other important instructions, if applicable

For privacy and security, avoid publishing a full private home address. If a gathering will take place at a residence, consider sharing the exact address directly with invited guests.

Example: “A celebration of Mary's life will be held in Los Gatos on July 18, 2025, following the interment. The family invites all who knew her to attend and share their favorite memories. Additional location details will be provided to guests at her funeral.”

5. Add Charity or Memorial Information

If the family would prefer donations instead of flowers, include the organization or cause the person cared about and explain how people can contribute.

Common wording includes:

  • “In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [Organization Name].”
  • “Contributions in [Name]'s memory may be made to [Organization].”
  • “The family suggests honoring [Name]'s legacy by supporting [Cause or Organization].”

If you include a website or donation page, check the link carefully before publishing.

6. Select a Photo

A photo can help readers immediately connect the obituary with the person they remember. Choose an image that feels representative and is clear enough for the way the obituary will be published.

Photo tips:

  • Choose a clear photo where the person's face is easy to see.
  • A recent photo or an older favorite can both work. Choose the image that feels most meaningful.
  • Avoid group photos where it is difficult to identify the person.
  • If publishing in print, check the newspaper's photo size and file requirements.

For an online memorial, additional photos can help show different stages, relationships and moments from the person's life.

For more on narrowing down the options, read our guide to selecting photos for an obituary.

7. Proofread and Publish

Before publishing, review the obituary carefully and, when possible, ask another family member to read it as well. Small errors in names, dates or service details can be difficult to correct after publication.

If several relatives are contributing, our guide to writing an obituary as a family covers how to divide the work and agree on a final draft.

Obituary Writing Checklist

Before you publish, confirm that:

  • All names are spelled correctly.
  • Birth, death and service dates are accurate.
  • Family relationships are described correctly and survivors are all included.
  • Service time and location are clear.
  • The obituary does not include sensitive information such as private home addresses, phone numbers, email addresses or financial details.
  • The tone feels appropriate for the person and family.
  • The obituary has been checked for grammar, spelling and typing errors.

Create an Obituary With LifeCelebrations

If you would like help organizing the information, the LifeCelebrations Wizard guides you through the obituary-writing process with prompts for essential details, life story, family information, service details and photos.

Once the obituary is ready, LifeCelebrations can support both print and digital remembrance. Families can create an online memorial, add photos and invite friends and relatives to share memories and messages alongside the obituary.

Writing an obituary does not have to mean capturing every detail of a person's life. Focus on what mattered most, write in a voice that feels true to them and give yourself time to review the final tribute before sharing it.

Common questions

What Should Be Included in an Obituary?
At minimum, include the person's name, age, place of residence, date of passing, a brief life summary, close family members and funeral or memorial service details when those are available. You can then add accomplishments, interests, community involvement and personal stories depending on the length and style you want.
What Should I Not Include in an Obituary?
Avoid sensitive information that could create privacy or security concerns. This includes full private home addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, financial information and details about valuable possessions or home security. You can also keep the cause of death private if the family does not wish to share it.
Should I List Predeceased Family Members?
Yes, if it feels meaningful to the family. It is common to recognize a spouse or partner, children, parents or siblings who died before the person. A simple phrase such as “She was preceded in death by her husband, Robert” is enough.
What If We Do Not Want People to Send Flowers?
State the preference clearly. For example: “In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to [Charity Name]” or “The family requests no flowers and suggests a donation to [Organization].”
How Long Should an Obituary Be?
There is no single correct length. A short obituary may be only a few paragraphs, while a longer life story may include more detail. For newspaper publication, available space and cost may affect the length. For an online memorial, you generally have more room to tell the story. Focus on meaningful details rather than trying to include everything.
How Should an Obituary End?
A strong ending can restate service information, suggest a way to honor the person, thank friends and family for their support or invite people to share memories. Choose an ending that feels natural with the rest of the obituary.
Can an Obituary Be Funny or Humorous?
Yes, when humor reflects the person's personality and feels appropriate for the family. A light anecdote, favorite saying or playful detail can make the obituary feel more personal without taking away from its significance.